Harvey couldn’t wait to get home. Georgie, his wife, had called not fifteen minutes ago and said the baby was coming. But he was stuck in the most important sales meeting of the year, and it was nowhere near over.
“Don’t worry, Harvey,” Georgie had said. “The first baby takes a long time to come, anyway. You won’t miss a thing.”
“What if something goes wrong? What if the midwife has to take you to the hospital? I should be there to help. And I want to see our baby born.”
“I swear nothing will go wrong. Just finish your meeting, honey. Gotta go now. Contraction.”
So Harvey sat squirming in his meeting, unable to think of anything but Georgie in labor and his child being born. Would it be a boy or a girl? Georgie was old-fashioned, and wanted the gender to be a surprise. The nursery was yellow and green, appropriate for either.
Harvey snuck out his wallet and looked at the sonogram pictures. Georgie hadn’t allowed him to go to her checkups at the doctor, though he offered to go every time. But she brought him the pictures of each stage of the baby’s development, and he was delighted to have them.
Truthfully, all he could see in the sonograms was an indeterminate blob. Was the big round thing the head? And babies only have four appendages, two arms and two legs, right? He wondered if the fifth one, as long as the baby’s leg, would drop off after a week like the umbilical cord. Maybe all babies were like that.
Just as the meeting came to its excruciating end, Georgie called again.
“It’s a boy!” she said. Harvey’s spirits took a deep dive.
“You mean it’s over already? I knew I should have come home. I really wanted to see him being born. Did you say we have a boy?”
Georgie laughed and said, “We have a son. Hurry home now and meet him.”
He already had his coat on and car keys in hand.
“On my way. What does he look like? Does he have a lot of hair? Ten fingers, ten toes? Does he still have a tail?”
Silence on the other end for a long moment.
“Why would you say our baby has a tail?” Georgie didn’t sound too pleased.
“I was looking at the sonograms,” he explained. “Those things are pretty blurry. I can’t make heads or tails of- I mean, I can’t figure out what’s what.”
“Would it be a big deal if he had a tail?” Her tone was downright chilly now. “Would you love him any less?”
“No, of course I wouldn’t-”
“Will you be home soon?”
“I’m at the car now. I’ll drive fast.”
“Good. Then you can inspect him and make sure he meets your standards. I didn’t know you were so picky.”
She hung up. Harvey stared, bewildered, at his phone. What did he say to upset her? He’d heard women were emotional when they’d just given birth. He’d have to watch what he said to her for a while.
He kept his word and drove as fast as traffic would allow, and stopped at the corner of their street to pick up some big pink and white lilies. They were Georgie’s favorite. He hoped they’d make up for whatever he’d said to make her so mad.
He raced upstairs. Georgie was lying down, cradling the baby at her side. The midwife hovered close by. Harvey barely spared her a glance, but he wondered if all midwives wore black robes like she did. Maybe it was a uniform of some kind.
Georgie pouted until she saw the lilies, and then she smiled. He sat down carefully on the bed and kissed her.
“Hi, honey,” she said. “Meet your son.”
This was the moment. Harvey picked the baby up and held him close.
“Hey, little fella,” he said, grinning like a fool. What a sweet little scrunched up face he had, and look at that wee shiny nose.
“He’s really red,” Harvey blurted, and then, alarmed, “But I’m sure it’s because he just came out. He’s very handsome.”
He opened the blanket to get a proper look at his son. Yes, there were the ten fingers and ten toes. His strong little legs kicked, and Harvey laughed.
Harvey was about to wrap him up again when he felt something move. Georgie held out her arms, and the midwife took a step closer.
“Time to give him back now,” Georgie said. “I miss him already.”
“Just a sec.”
Harvey lifted the baby’s legs and looked under him. He gasped.
The child really did have a tail. It was as long as those strong little legs, bright red and wiggling.
Harvey closed the blanket. The baby howled, annoyed at being handled so much. Were those teeth in his mouth? No, not teeth. They were sharp, tiny fangs.
He looked up at Georgie helplessly.
“He’s beautiful,” he said, as gently as he could. “But Georgie, he’s…”
The midwife swooped in. She took the baby and gave him back to Georgie.
“Listen to that voice,” she said over the baby’s wail. “This one’s going to be a little devil. You’ll have your hands full when he’s older.”
Georgie laughed and looked at Harvey.
“I’ve been thinking of names, honey. I like Seth. What do you think?”
“Beelzebub,” he said. “It fits him. We could call him Bill for short.”
For a second, Georgie stared at him, and then she and the midwife laughed. Georgie leaned up and kissed him.
“Oh, Harvey, you do love our baby! I was so worried you wouldn’t understand!”
Harvey put his arms around his wife and son and sighed.
This might not be the son he expected, but it didn’t matter. This was his little boy, and when the shock wore off, he knew he’d be the proudest daddy in the world.
Tony Noland
January 27, 2011
There were so many whipsaw twists here, I don’t know where to start!
Thank goodness “little devil” is usually meant metaphorically.
joaniegecko
January 27, 2011
I was really worried about Harvey there for a minute.! He’s a good guy though, I think anyone else would have flipped out. I can only imagine what his parents would think though, hahaha! This is a cool concept. 🙂
mgideon
January 27, 2011
What a guy, taking it all in and just going with the flow, son with a tail and all!
Laura Eno
January 27, 2011
Little devil indeed! Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
adamjkeeper
January 27, 2011
Ha! my baby daughter was born last week, this is all very close to home, her tail sprouts every night around 2AM!!
Danielle La Paglia
January 27, 2011
I felt it coming, but it was still just too fun. A cutely creepy story to start the weekend off right. 🙂
Jax
January 27, 2011
*laughs* Well, every new parent is surprise by the reality of having a baby, why should Harvey be any different?
John Wiswell
January 27, 2011
I love his enthusiasm for the tyke. From the chat on the drive over to when he meets the baby boy. It’s quite endearing.
Now let’s all hope nurture is stronger than nature.
Icy Sedgwick
January 28, 2011
Why do I see Mia Farrow?!
Aw, I’m so glad he likes his little tyke. Hopefully they’ll bond!
Deanna Schrayer
January 28, 2011
Gracie, the pacing of this is simply spot-on marvelous, the way you kept us in suspense – even though you know what’s coming it’s still exciting, or maybe that’s what makes it so exciting.
Just an outstanding job here!
alisonwells
January 28, 2011
Very entertaining and a very understanding Dad.
Laurita
January 28, 2011
Oh, those parents are in for it when that little devil hits the teens.
Brilliantly written as always, Gracie.
davidwburns
January 28, 2011
charming and twisted! loved it!
Mari Juniper
January 28, 2011
I was wondering why the mother wouldn’t let him be part of the process, heh. Very entertaining tale, Gracie. I just worry about everyone else when this cute little thing grows up. O.o
KjM
January 28, 2011
“… I can’t make heads or tails of…”
Oh, that’s just funny! “Little devil”, indeed.
This was a good one, Gracie. Harvey has a good heart – and he’ll need it as Bill grows up.
Well done.
jcunknown
January 28, 2011
Wow I really like your concept I was like what !!!!O_O
Really enjoyed it
Great job
~Tim
January 28, 2011
Cute story. But he stayed till the meeting was over? Maybe he’s not man enough for such a “challenging” child.
laradunning
January 28, 2011
Hopefully this “little devil” is not very devilish and try to kill his parents…isn’t that how these things turn out usually? I like that his nature is not hidden and the father loves it anyways.
adampb
January 28, 2011
Is this the beginning of the apocalypse? Great little story.
Adam B @revhappiness
Blackbirdsong
January 29, 2011
Little devil indeed. You’ll have to do another story when the baby becomes a teenager. Love this story and especially love that you told it from the pov of the father. Great twists throughout too.
Julie (Okami)
January 29, 2011
Ok – that was unexpected – lol
Lou
January 29, 2011
There is nothing like the unc0nditional love of a parent – and this is quite a condition to have to love! Fun read, enjoyed.
Virginia Moffatt
January 29, 2011
Grannies as werewolves and babies as devils. These are fun to read. Quite a surprise for them, but I loved their commitment to their son!
ganymeder
January 29, 2011
Awww, I’m glad that he accepted his son for who he is. That is, he *is* his son; right? I mean, he was shocked that I was sure Daddy didn’t have a tail… 🙂
Emma Newman
January 29, 2011
I loved the robed midwife – made me smile. So glad I read this *after* I had my baby!
karenfrommentor
January 29, 2011
“I didn’t know you were so picky.” made me laugh out loud and read faster.
This was fun. I’d babysit.
Jason Coggins
January 29, 2011
Hey, let’s not all go praising the unconditional love of parents! What about when Bill grows up and brings the Apocalypse? As the oceans burn and the dead return to judge the living we might all end up regretting Harvey’s decision to coo over his devil child and not stake it there and then!
Loved it x
Cathy Webster
January 30, 2011
All those sharp little teeth are gonna play havoc with teething rings… and I’m wondering if Pampers has a diaper that accommodates tails?
I loves me a good devil baby story!
Eric J. Krause
January 30, 2011
Good one! Always gotta love your little monsters, right?
absolutely1kate
February 1, 2011
Gracie . . . I liked that good ol’Harvey was “squirming” while this whole birthing process was going on . . . I loved the pink and white lillies (purity?) . . . and naturally, I join the sacred flock up there in grooving to your sweet satanic style.
~ Absolutely*Kate, thinkin’ – Father knew best, in his first test
absolutely1kate
February 1, 2011
CONGRATS New Daddy Adam J Keeper!
flyingscribbler
February 1, 2011
I liked the robed midwife too. What kind of world do these people inhabit? And no job is THAT important. No wonder she had time to meddle with the devil. The intrigue here is not what the baby will look like, but how he will deal with it, and thus you keep us in suspense. Marvellous. And fun!
PJ Kaiser
February 4, 2011
Gracie – very funny story. “Little Devil” indeed – I’ve got one of those, but my devil is of the female variety and she keeps her tail hidden most of the time 😉
Anthony Venutolo
February 25, 2011
Yes … someone up top said it best … “Cutely creepy…” Loved the pace and the feel to this Grace…